I’m just looking for someone who knows something about sergers.  I have quite a few sewing projects I would like to accomplish that would be made easier with the use of a serger.  Not so much of the fold 1/4 inch, press, fold a 1/2 inch, sew for hems and edges. I’m wondering if the cheapy models for about $100 would get me by or if I should spend a little bit more money on a better model. Sometimes the cheap ones are nothing but frustration. Thanks for the help!

My flowers are starting to pop out with this warm weather. I bought myself a coral charm peony this spring and it is beautiful! It is a semi-double early bloomer.  This is probably my favorite peony, so much so that I used it in my wedding bouquet.

Ah. My bouquet. It was what made me run late on the big day.  I had a florist in Madison do all the bouquets.  We had discussed that I wanted it heavy on the coral charm peonies with other pink peonies, sweet peas, and roses. I picked up the bouquet and there was only one lonely coral charm flower front and center, glaring like a headlight.  I went out to the car and thought for a moment about how disappointed I was with it but I was going to make do. Then I thought about how it was my day and this was important to me.  If I can’t even stand up for myself on my wedding day when can I? So I went back into the shop and said that this bouquet was not the one that I had discussed. The florist said she didn’t like the way the coral looked with the other pinks that’s why she only used one. I said change it. A half hour later I had a new bouquet and it was beautiful.

I hope this plant flourishes where I put it and gets a little less stingy with how many blossoms it puts out because I do love it. I picture a beautiful bunch mixed with clematis vines gracing my dining table. One little plant with such fleeting beauty but it brings so much joy.

I know I just posted about this yesterday and I don’t want to be a blog all a bout my babies but this is just too cute not to share. And because I miss her this morning (we both had to work last night and my sister had awards night at school so Evelyn went back to the burg for a sleepover). We got a bottle along with the baby doll and I was showing her how to feed it.  After a couple pulls on it herself she got the hang of it and this is her feeding her baby breakfast yesterday morning, before she had her own breakfast- like a true mama.

Those babies can be hard to hold and feed at the same time, especially when you are trying to be right handed and you start out with the bottle in your left.  Sometimes it’s just easier to lay them down to do it.  I love the tongue sticking out in the third picture- just like her daddy who does that whenever he is concentrating.

Now, what to do with some alone time?  I think I will finish planting my annuals then laundry then clean up a little and hopefully finish wedding pictures (Sorry, guys. There are a lot of them). I’m looking forward to having some time next week to do some projects.  Warm weather always gets me in the mood for sewing and I think some ruffled diaper covers are in order for the summer.

The weather has finally picked up around here. It is so nice to be out in the warm sunshine without shoes on your feet.

Snacks are so much better out on the porch, especially when enjoyed with a friend. And by enjoyed I mean having your slice of juicy pear stolen right out of your hand by a thieving feline with no sense of personal space.

I was going through some of Evelyn’s toys the other day, rotating some forgotten ones into play, and realized almost all of them are very baby-ish. Rattles, teething toys, and taggy books filled her bins.  She has some good blocks and stacking toys but she really isn’t into them. She seems to be in a strange place, past being a baby but not quite ready for most of the toddler things. She prefers sorting games and has a small basket that she keeps different animals in and spends a lot of time dumping them out and putting them back in the basket. I’m all for kids being bored because it leads to imaginary play and inventiveness and I know they don’t actually need a lot of toys to keep them occupied but it seems like she has no interest in things unless I get her started.  She spends a lot of time whining and tangled in my legs until I sit down and start playing with her.  After awhile, when I think she’s forgotten that I’m there, I get up and within minutes she is back at my legs. Maybe it’s just her age.

After all of that rambling I’m trying to tell you that we went out yesterday and got a few bigger-girl toys.  A dolly and stroller to start out with.

She loves them. She hugs and cuddles the baby and pushes it all over the house. She even brought it up in the chair last night to read stories with us before bedtime.

We also got a new ball after Olive popped our last one.

But some of the best things to do don’t involve toys.

Tearing apart my flowers, for instance.

Or taking all of the smooth, black stones from the bird bath and putting them into an empty plant container. Then dumping them out again.

They also work well for smooshing ants, if she is fast enough.

Whatever we’re doing it is just nice that we can be doing it outside without our mittens.

Boy!!! Now I’ll have to start over with all the clothes and toys! My due date was kind of floating around, too, and the doctor was able to pin it down to almost two weeks earlier than he originally thought. Our little baby boy will be here so soon! Sqweeeeee!

I hope everyone had a good mama’s day. My brother, Clifton, got married on Saturday.  Both Scott and I were in the wedding so it was a long and tiring day.  I wish I had pictures but I am sad to say that things were so hectic that I didn’t even get out my camera.  Sometimes it’s nice to not worry about it and just enjoy the moments. So on Sunday we were into having a mellow day.  I got up a little early and the girl and husband stayed in bed late so the morning was mine.  When she finally did get up and I started to get her breakfast, I wondered why I had to do this stuff today.  It’s supposed to be my day- no laundry or cleaning or not getting to sleep in.  But then I thought I get to do this.  I love having a family and being a mom.  Even if it means I’ll have grubby fingers digging in my bowl of cereal to pull out sopping handfuls of mushy Wheat Chex, leaving behind dog hair that was stuck to the banana mushed between those fingers and a trail of milk down her chin and tummy. It’s worth seeing that smiling face.  I may be singing a different song next year having two littles. (My heart double-beats thinking about that.) Maybe I will be begging to spend the day at the spa where I don’t have to share my breakfast. But then what is Mother’s Day without your babies?

Wedding season has started.  We have so many invitations for the month of June, something every weekend and already have one wedding under our belt and another this coming weekend.  I absolutely love weddings, maybe because I love planning parties and a wedding is the ultimate event to plan.  I have almost every issue of Martha Stewart Weddings that I have been collecting since I was about eleven and I still buy them.

I had a lot of fun planning out every little detail for ours but there are so many things I would have done differently.  There are so many resources available now, just within four years.  When I was planning there was no etsy.com (where I probably would have gotten almost everything) and there weren’t any blogs devoted to wedding ideas.  I would spend hours doing search after search just to find someone who sold paper lanterns bigger than eight inches.  But it all turned out well.  i just kept in mind that it was a party for our friends and family thanking them for being behind us and I wanted to make it as fun and as comfortable as possible for them.  People still talk about our wedding so I guess it was all I could hope for.

This weekend was Scott’s cousin Kristen’s wedding in Minnesota.  She and her new husband, Aaron, are a beautiful couple and it was a fun day.  Kristen contacted Scott last Thursday when she realized there was a miscommunication with her photographer and that there would be no one taking pictures of their wedding.  She asked if we would be able to do the job.  So I went out and bought a flash and got the opportunity to photograph my first wedding.  I was a little nervous but things turned out well and I hope Kristen and Aaron are happy with their photos.

I’m not sure which job I would like more, wedding planner or photographer.  Maybe I could do both.

Thank you for all of your words. It is helpful and comforting to know that I’m not alone in the way I feel. I know this is how a lot of mothers might feel but sometimes we think we aren’t supposed to and it can make that sense of being trapped and fading worse. Sometimes you just have to shout.

But not today. This day is quiet. I’ve showered, washed the dishes, done my hair and put on some of my new makeup (there is solace to be found at the Chanel counter, too), and picked up all the toys while the little sleeps. Now I’ve come upstairs to hole up in the cocoon of my untidy bedroom with the fat Olive just to sit. I like her soft snoring. It makes me feel relaxed and warm. I know I probably have just a few more minutes before nap time is over so I’m not going to waste it trying to pick things up. I have more wonderful things to occupy my time with, like enjoying the feeling of a swimming baby in my belly and the smell of a warm, sleepy dog next to me.

My cousin Lauren left a lovely comment on my facebook wall today, really nice things about how she looked up to me growing up and what a beautiful and interesting person I have turned out to be. How she sees a peaceful happiness in me. Made me cry. And it got me thinking about how others see me, or how I want them to see me. This is what I have narrowed it down to: a calm, classic, and quiet beauty with just a little bit of quirkiness and understated sexy. Something you can’t quite put your finger on but you know I would be warm, funny, and easily approachable. I’m trying to pull this together .

I don’t know if it is the pregnancy and feeling schlumpy or my years creeping towards thirty but I am feeling the need to slightly reinvent myself or at least push that idea of what I am just a little bit.  I think you are supposed to do this about every ten years as ‘they’ say.  I feel like a little caterpillar waiting for my wings.  I want to be that girl that wears red lipstick and actually does her hair and isn’t afraid to do a little bit of a smoky eye to go to Target. I don’t want to get stuck in that thirty-something mommy rut where I wear sensible shoes and trade in my push-up for a sports bra.

Maybe I’m just a little afraid of completely losing this slightly fragile identity I’ve spent my adult years trying to hone and just become known as a mom of two. I already absolutely hate it when people address me as ‘mama’. I love being a mama but unless you are my child or are referring to my child, as in “I think she is hungry, mama”, that is not my name.

My name is Andria and I am more than you know.

Now, I think I need to go replace my Better Homes and Gardens with a Vogue.

Ahhh. Back home after a trip to Florida last week. Evelyn and I went down with my mom and sister and had a good time. It is always good to be home, though I could really see myself living down there permanently. I know we had temperatures in the eighties in Wisconsin while we were gone (which we only reached the high 70′s in Florida) but it is so different. The blooming bougainvillea, green lush palms, and the taste of salt in the humid air tell me it’s not the same.  Every cell in me sighs when I put my feet in the sand.  I would move in a heartbeat if I had the chance.

The hardest part of the trip, besides my excruciating full-body sunburn, was keeping Evelyn alive. That child has no fear.  She ran straight into the ocean despite crashing waves and kept trying to get in there the entire trip. She also almost drown in the pool a few times because she just walked right down the steps into the water.  I am glad I’m a person that keeps calm and collected in emergency situations, even with my own child as I have found this past week. Then there was the eating sand and shells and looking over to her sweet little face and seeing a half rotten hermit crab hanging out of her mouth.

She really did like walking on the beach and picking up shells and chasing birds and seeing kids digging holes and building castles. One night at sunset a nice lady let her hug and snuggle her big golden retriever and I think it probably made her afternoon. It made us miss our own doggy.

So we flew back home.

It was so nice to see Scott and his smile. I missed him so much and I hope the next trip I take is with him. Nodding daffodils and green grass greeted me from my kitchen window in the morning before work (yes, I had to work the day after we got back). I’m still working on laundry and trying to put things away after just being dumped on the counter. My carry-on bag is still sitting in the kitchen, full of diapers, snacks, and camera stuff. I’m shooting for having things back to normal by Wednesday.  Hopefully.