Sunday! Sunday! Sunday!

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Monster Truck showdown!

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This guy turned four! He couldn’t choose between a TMNT cake or a monster truck one so I made both.

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He thought it was pretty rad.

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Little sister claimed these presents as her own.

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Happy fourth birthday to my big guy. You are so funny and kind and still give the best squeezy hugs ever. Love you.

Summer, Part Two. Or, After Walter (AW).

Pretend and real picnics in the front yard, lake swimming, bike riding and the loss of training wheels, rocket launches, a miniature steam engine trip, skateboarding. The arrival of a new brother. Our summer was spent close to home, especially since baby brother is mostly on the cranky side of things. Hence the lack of pictures of him in his natural habitat, which is comprised mainly of my arms and shoulder or any area that is safely within nursing distance.

But we did have lots of skinned knees and popsicles. And that’s what counts, right?

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Now it is back to school and farewell to another summer.

Walter

Walter Heinrich. Born on August 1st. Eight pounds, ten ounces and twenty-one inches long.DSC_8394

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I didn’t have the best experience giving birth to this guy and recovery has been slow but, no matter. He’s here.DSC_8385

And he has been surrounded with love.DSC_8353 DSC_8350  DSC_8530

Even if he is a skeptical grouch. He still isn’t too sure he likes it out here.DSC_8509  DSC_8544-copyDSC_8552DSC_8559-copyDSC_8693-copy

Winter

I am officially done with winter despite the snow all around and the freezing temperatures. The sun is shining and the birds are singing a different song. Things are starting to feel happier. I am, too.

Our Winter in pictures.

Supervising.

He asked Santa for a real dinosaur. This is as close as he could come.

She tapes up anything and everything.

Gus burned both of his hands very badly on the glass of our fireplace. He had mitten hands for quite a while. This didn’t stop him from figuring out a way to use the ipad, though.

And with snowflakes that stay on your nose and eyelashes, these were a few of my favorite things.

Here’s to Spring.

On The Eve of Childhood

I look at Helena today and remember how eager I was to meet her. I could feel the labor slowly, rhythmically taking control and knew I would be holding her in my arms in a matter of hours. Those hours passed by in the dark pacing and rocking and swaying, just the two of us, while the rest slept. Then the reward of those beautiful eyes looking at me for the first time, blinking and searching out love. The prize of my hard work her warmth against my chest.

My heart breaks and mends itself over and over and over- from that first cry from those tiny lungs to first steps to first days of school- invariably, I suppose, until it stops beating. From the moment you hold them, you will be letting go. If you couldn’t tell, I struggle with this. With every passing milestone, I wax poetic. A tightness in my throat, a stinging in my eye. I try so desperately to hold onto that babyhood but know it is like trying to hold light in my hands. There then not.

So on the eve of her childhood I will tell you about this baby, my sweet Helena. She searches you out, craving to be near someone. She adores being with her brother even though he can be very mean to her. Her sister knows just how to make her giggle. She is still pretty stingy with those laughs, by the way. She started walking at ten months and now tries to run, twirl in circles, and dance. Her first real words, beside mama and dada, were “thank you.” She has three teeth, two on the bottom and a large one on top. Thankfully, it’s mate is almost through. My pickiest eater by a mile, all she eats is fruit, pancakes, chicken tenders, eggs, peas, and noodles. She weighs 16 pounds and is a little short, giving her the appearance of a small doll walking around. She still has that beautiful smile she had at three days old- the one that squinches her eyes into little crescent slits and lets you know she sees the love in you.

Miss Helena, you are happiness and light. One of three beautiful stars your Daddy and I have cut into the fabric of our life. And even though I lament the loss of your babyhood, mainly for fear of forgetting it all, I can’t wait to see you grow and shine.

Love, Mama.

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